Travel Holiday
February 1, 2002
No More Mr. Nice Guide: 20 Cruise Lessons

Hindsight is 20/20. After years of dreaming, Anne Weller booked
passage on Cunard's QE2 a year in advance. She paid her deposit,
then saw an ad for hundreds less --- but the discount agency she
booked through had little sympathy. Lauren and Jeff Lagano signed
up for Royal Caribbean's Granduer of the Seas full-day Pompeii tour:
They never guessed they'd be cooped up on a bus crawling through
traffic for much of the afternoon. On her last day on the Carnival
Jubilee, Norma Colon met a woman by the pool who boasted that her
husband and ordered three lobsters at dinner the night before. If
Norma had known she could do that, she would have stopped at just
one.

Sure, cruises are among the easiest trips to plan, but as any frequent
cruiser can tell you, the wisdom culled from experience can make
your trip. Don't worry---we're not going to force you to make your
own mistakes to become an expert. Here are our top 20 tips for cruisers:
You'll find some of our advice surprising (who knew you could book
excursions online?) and some money-saving (you'll pay less for everything
from sightseeing to massages). And it's all guaranteed to deliver
you're a better vacation---consider it our bon voyage present.

DEALS / ASK FOR A REFUND

DID THE PRICE OF YOUR CABIN drop after you booked? Many lines will
credit you the difference - if you call them on it. Carnival, Princess,
Royal Caribbean, Celebrity, Holland America, Windstar, Crystal,
Cunard, and Radisson will all reimburse you from the time you make
the first deposit up until your final paymentóand some even until
you board. But since commissions drop with the price of your cruise,
Web-based travel agencies and discounters aren't likely to help
you request a refundógood luck even getting a real person on the
phone. You have a better chance of getting a break from a travel
agent who has met you and values you as a long-standing customer.

SPAS / HEAD DIRECTLY TO THE SPA

YES, THIS IS THE FIRST thing you should do after you board. If you
plan to get treatments, this is one place where the early bird really
does get the worm. The best appointments are in the middle or late
afternoon during days at sea. (Who wants to wake up early, run from
a massage straight to dinner, or give up precious time in port?)
Naturally these time slots are the first to go. There's no prebooking
before you get on the ship, so be the first one there and you'll
be guaranteed not to have your pores cleaned before your morning
coffee or when you'd rather be snorkeling.

CABINS / NOT ALL INSIDES ARE EQUAL

GONE ARE THE DAYS when inside cabins were a punishment for penny-pinchers.
On many lines, such as Carnival and Crystal, they're the same size
and layout as the outside cabins, just without a window or porthole.
Several of the QE2's inside cabins (#4192, #4193, and #5106) are
145 square feetólarger than most outside cabins in the same category.
The best deal of all? Disney Magic and Disney Wonder's 214-square-foot
"Category 10 - cabins are the cure for claustrophobia. They're not
just the roomiest inside cabins at sea, they're also the only ones
onboard with a bath and a half.

TIPPING / KNOW BEFORE YOU GO

WHILE MOST LINES LEAVE A NOTE in your cabin with tipping guidelines,
you'll want to add up the total before you book. This way, you'll
know the real price of your trip. Plan to give $3.50 per person
per day (whether the cruise passenger is an adult or a child) to
your waiter and your cabin steward, and $2 per person per day to
your busboy. A 15 percent service fee is added to bar tabs, so it's
not necessary to tip bartenders, but you will be expected to tip
15 percent in the spa - just as you would at a spa on land. If your
maitre d' changed your table or made you flaming bananas Foster,
toss him $10, but don't feel obligated to tip people you've never
met.

SPAS / THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO UPGRADE

AS SHIP SPAS GET LARGER, their menus get more elaborate. Many offer
expensive packages that combine massages and manicures with exotic-sounding
rubs and wraps, but most of the add-ons aren't worth your time or
money. Celebrity Infinity's Tropical Milk Treat ($344) is billed
as a four-hour wrap, massage, pedicure, and manicure; ours was only
three hours, with a rushed wrap and a sloppy paint job. Our 80-minute
Hot Lava Rock Massage on the Silver Shadow ($210) was nice, but
the quick footbath and warmed rocks weren't worth the $100 upgrade
from a standard shiatsu. The rub: Stick to the basics, and speak
up if you're not satisfied.

CABINS / ASK FOR SPECIAL DEALS

LOOKING FOR A BARGAIN? Sure, your brochure lists cabins with obstructed
views and cabins with portholes instead of windows. But some lines
discount specific cabins that have special problems, flaws you might
not have thought to ask about. Carnival Destiny's "Night Owl"
cabins are a good example. These inside cabins cost $200 less per
person than the identical inside cabins down the hall. Why? Because
you can hear the thump of the disco above well into the night. But
for passengers who plan on closing the bars or dancing into the
wee hours every night, these cabins are a steal.

DINING / BAG A ROOM-SERVICE LUNCH

EVEN IN PLACES WITH AMAZING FOOD, there are some days on cruises
when you don't want to deal with eating lunch in port. Spend the
day on a Caribbean beach and you'll get stuck with greasy concession
fareóif there's anything at all. Take a full-day tour in Guatemala,
and you'll get a bag lunch that's not terribly appetizing. Plus,
who wants to change money when you're only in the country for a
day? Instead, bring along plastic bags and order sandwiches, cookies,
and fruit from room service the night before. (It's free!) Then
you can spend the whole day sightseeing without having to forage
for food or currency.

ALASKA / BOOK TOURS ONLINE

YOU BOOKED AN ALASKAN CRUISE for the kayaking, dogsledding, biking,
and glacier trekking. But since many of these more-active excursions
can only accommodate a handful of people, they sell out quickly.
Avoid disappointment by holding a spot onlineóRoyal Caribbean, Celebrity,
Princess, and Holland America will all let you reserve a place up
to 10 days before you sail. If you change your mind once you're
onboard, you can always switch to another excursion. Or, consider
booking through an outside company: Port Promotions (800-929-4548)
uses the same tour companies the cruise lines do, often with smaller
groups and 20 to 30 percent lower rates.

REPEATERS / THERE ARE PRIVILEGES

FREQUENT CRUISERS MAY NOT GET "MILES," but the lines do offer
incentives. If you've cruised with a line before, call ahead and
ask what benefits they offer. In most cases, you'll be invited to
a private cocktail party, get priority for cabin upgrades, and book
trips at a 5 to 15 percent discount. Instead of standing around
the crowded terminal until 1 P.M., repeat Celebrity and Royal Caribbean
cruisers can board as early as 11 A.M. You won't be able to go to
your cabin until it has been cleaned, but you can spend time on
the gym's treadmill, or stretch out by the pool. Just don't forget
to pack sneakers and a bathing suit in your carry-on bag.

DRESSING / KICK OFF YOUR HEELS

HATE FORMAL NIGHTS, BUT INTERESTED in a cruise ship that has them?
Most lines have casual buffet restaurants where the dress code is
casual all the time. So if you don't mind trading the beef Wellington
for basic fare (think simple pasta dishes and broiled salmon), you
can wear jeans and T-shirts every night on Carnival, Costa, Royal
Caribbean, Celebrity, Princess, First European, Norwegian, and Holland
America. Or book a cabin on high-end lines such as Crystal or Radisson
and order dinner on your balcony on formal night. You might just
find that you prefer beef Wellington by starlight anyway.

TRADE YOUR CHIPS FOR TIPS

YOU CAN GET CASH ONBOARD OF COURSE MORE AND MORE LINES, such as
Crystal, Star Clipper, Royal Olympic, and Windjammer, let you charge
tips to your account. A few even bill them automatically (including
Cunard, First European, and NCL). But there are still ships that
do it the old-fashioned way. Cruise on Celebrity or Royal Caribbean,
and you'll find that tips are cash only, hand-delivered to your
waiters and stewards on the last day of the cruise. So where do
you go if you don't want to carry all that American money around
and there's no ATM onboard? The casino. Most ships will let you
bill chips to your room, then trade them in for last-minute cash,
without even playing a hand.

DEALS / CLICK YOUR WAY TO SAVINGS

IT'S A FULL-TIME JOB keeping track of all the ads these days, but
going to a line's website and getting yourself on their e-mail list
makes it easier. Register with Princess (www.princesscruises.com),
Costa (www.costacruises.com), Windjammer (www.windjammer.com), Royal
Olympic (www.royalolympiccruises.com), and Norwegian (www.ncl.com)
and you'll be the first to see great fare sales, such as seven nights
in a minisuite on the new Star Princess for $1,399 per person, and
$450 for a five night cruise on the Windjammer Mandalay. This is
an easy way to let the special fares come to you, especially if
your dates are flexible.

KIDS / HAVE THE SITTER COME TO YOU

MOST CRUISE LINES have children's programs all day long, and group
babysitting at night (usually from 10 P.M. to 1 A.M.). But if you
don't want to adhere to a schedule, or wake your tots up at midnight
and carry them back to the room, there is another option. Royal
Caribbean, Celebrity, Crystal, Cunard, and Holland America all offer
in-cabin babysitting for about what your neighborhood teenagers
charge. Expect to pay $7 - $15 per hour, depending on the hours
and number of children. Best of all, you won't ever have to drive
your sitter home at the end of a long night.

CARIBBEAN / B.Y.O. SNORKEL

SNORKELING IS ONE OF THE MOST popular excursions in the Caribbean,
and for good reason. But who wants to swap spit with the guy who
had your snorkel last? Save yourself the "ickî of wondering about
the cleanliness of the rental gearóbring your own. Go to www.campmor.com,
a discount sporting gear company, for basic snorkels ($4.99) and
masks ($12.99). And while you're at it, click on www.emsonline.com
and order up some aqua socks ($28.50). When you get down to the
rocky beaches and slippery waterfalls, you'll be glad you don't
have to worry about your feet.

DINING / FORGET THE RULES

MOST LUXURY-SHIP PASSENGERS know you can have caviar as your appetizer
every night. And most mega-ship passengers know you can have both
the sea bass and the rack of lamb. But what you might not know is
that if you go fishing in Alaska, Crystal and Clipper's chefs won't
just cook the fish for you, they'll ship the leftovers home. Most
lines will also preorder Vegemite for Australians, gluten-free meals
for diabetics, and birthday cakes for anyone. Costa and Crystal
can also serve kosher mealsóall you have to do is ask when you book.

DRINKING / ASK FOR PACKAGES

THERE'S NOTHING WITH MORE POTENTIAL for shock value than that moment
on the last night when the bill is slipped under your door. The
biggest surprise? For most people, it's the beverage tab. Consider
how many soft drinks you down in a day - then multiply that total
by 9 or 10 or 12 days. Suddenly, all those Diet Cokes tally up.
But there is a solution. Carnival, Royal Caribbean, Princess, and
Disney sell all-you-can-drink fountain soda packages that cost from
$17 to $35 per person per week, and Norwegian, Celebrity, First
European, Costa, and Carnival offer unlimited soda passes for kids
for $15 to $35. The trick? You have to know to ask when you board.

SEASICKNESS / YOU'RE NOT GROUNDED

IF YOU ARE PRONE TO SEASICKNESS, avoid small ships, cabins below
sea level, and notoriously rough waters (including Antarctica's
Drake Passage) - but don't think you can't cruise at all. You just
need the right medication. Dramamine is okay, but side effects can
include powerful drowsiness; ginger candy and pulsepoint bracelets
don't work if you're more than mildly nauseated. If you're seriously
worried about seasickness, don't leave home without getting (and
filling) a prescription for the Transderm Scop patch ($21.50; www.drugstore.com).
It's preventative: You just press it behind your ear and go. But
skip the wine with dinner, or risk not being able to read the dessert
menu.

TABLES FOR TWO / BE PERSISTENT

MOST MEGA-SHIPS HAVE FEWER than a dozen two-tops in their dining
rooms, and more honeymooners and anniversaries and just plain shy
people than they can accommodate. If you want one of these coveted
tables, ask for one (by the window, of course) when you book, confirm
the request before you leave home, and drop by the dining room to
meet the maitre d' after you board. (Celebrity helps you put table
requests in writingócall their special services line at 800-242-6374.)
If you still don't get what you want, ask the maÓtre d' to convert
a four-top for you. When what you really want is a night of romance,
dinner with eight strangers is no substitute.