Porthole Magazine
January 1, 2001
Top 10 Bathrooms at Sea

Ok, so it doesn't exactly make appetizing dinner conversation, but
c'mon, bathrooms are important. But not every bathroom at sea is,
shall we say, a pleasure. Some are so small, you have to butter
your hips just slip through the door. And those bathtubs (if there
is one) are so short you have to fold yourself in half to get in.
What about those watered-down shampoos --- Help!

Thank god there are some exceptions. In fact, there are a handful
of cruise ship bathrooms you'll want to spend so much time in, people
may start to talk.

Seven Seas Navigator (Radisson Seven Seas Cruises). Every single
stateroom on this chichi ship boasts a downright sprawling marble
potty palace complete with a separate shower stall that has a glass
door, avoiding that sticky-curtain-against-your-butt syndrome, as
well as a full-length tub long enough for a normal-sized humanoid
to actually use comfortably. Top this all off with luscious Judith
Jackson lemon-scented shampoos, soaps and lotions replenished daily,
and you've just found yourself the best bathroom at sea.

Volendam and Zaandam (Holland America Line). These are babies Zsha
Zsha Gabor would be proud of. Just outside the top-level of the
dining room, these little-girl pink, ocean-view powder rooms are
the most divine public loos at sea. You can touch up the shadow
and spray the locks like a queen in these spacious places, which
are set up with four mirrored vanity tables and stools.

Disney Magic and Wonder (Disney Cruise Line). One less family squabble
to deal with in Disney's awesome bathrooms. The vast majority of
cabins on both ships have not one, but count ëem, two bathrooms
apiece. One houses a toilet and sink, and the other a shower/tub
combo and sink, along with a couple packets of shampoo and lotion
wearing Mickey's and Minnie's cutesy faces.

Silver Shadow, Wind, and Cloud (Silversea Cruises). Bulgari, Bulgari,
take me away. You'll want to soak, shampoo, lather, and moisturize
all day long when you get a load of the top-shelf Bulgari green
tea-scented bath products stocking these marble-covered abodes.
(You also won't think twice about stashing as many as possible into
your suitcase to take back home with you!)

Wind Star, Song, Spirit and Surf (Windstar Cruises). As yachty things
go, the nautically-inspired heads on these small sailing ships are
quite charming with their teakwood-decked floors and compact but
highly functional design, complete with ample storage space and
hairdryers too.

Millennium (Celebrity Cruises). Daaaahling, if you just can't survive
without a hot tub at your fingertips for those glorious languishing
soaks before dinner (champagne in hand of course), no need to deny
yourself. Just book one of the two penthouses on the Millennium,
each with a massive round hot tub (yes, a real one, not a mere bathtub
with a couple of whirlpool jets) gracing the marble-clad bathrooms
of these 1,432 square foot floating castles.

Seabourn Pride (Seabourn Cruise Line). You and your other half can
brush your teeth together in the well-accoutered bathrooms of this
ultra-lux, elegant all-suite ship. No need to take turns, the all-white,
marble-clad bathrooms in all staterooms boast two sinks --- one
for me, one for you.

Caronia (Cunard). Not only do the Caronia's pair of fancy shmancy
duplex suites have private saunas, they both boast two full bathrooms
--- ooh la la. Each throne room has double sinks and a bidet.

Voyager of the Seas (Royal Caribbean International). Nothing better
to boost a guy's self-esteem then to pee into a ritzy marble urinal.
The caviar of cans, the men's room outside of the Island Grill and
Windjammer restaurant boasts an ocean view and a breathtaking (well,
almost) forest green malachite-like undulating marble urinal bank.


Carnival, from the Fantasy-class ships on up to the newest, Carnival
Victory (Carnival Cruise Lines). Ok, while Carnival's bathrooms
don't win any awards for dÈcor, they do earn a gold star for their
roomy size, relative to other mega ships of course. The showers
are actually big enough to move around in and there's tons ëo cabinet
space for all that make-up and shaving stuff you've lugged from
home to make yourself presentable.